Firuj & Inez

Firuj & Inez

 

AGes: 30 & 31
BEEN TOGETHER: 4 YEARS
BACKGROUND: 🇧🇩🇳🇱
FROM: Dorset & Netherlands, living in London
OCCUPATIONS: logistics manager & Head of partnerships
RELIGION: None
Met at work.

@inezdmiedema

Photos by: Sarah Ali / @aaliisarah

 

“I was making lunch one day at my new job, toast with soup. Some weirdo stood behind me and said: ‘I don’t trust people who don’t fully butter their toast’. That’s the first thing he said.”

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“Even in the earlier stages, we were more friends. It can fast track in a way, cause you already know each other, you know each other’s hobbies, you’ve talked about your families and shared friends. The whole getting to know each other level has passed. But then it’s like what’s the dynamic going to be this new relationship… as friends we were used to taking the piss out of each other, pushing buttons. We did that in the beginning but realised it wasn’t quite right.”

“It helped us push each other forward, in the beginning it was all competition but that’s not really a good thing. My mom and dad had that in the beginning of their relationship. We were arguing quite a bit and I told my mum. She said: ‘if you both have strong characters even if different people, you both need to find your place…’ but not by completely letting each other be but testing each other’s boundaries. What is accepted and not accepted.”

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“I cant wait to have kids and be like a stay at home dad, I’m the complete opposite, I rather do all that shit. I’m happy for Inez to be the go getter. She’s just better at work.

I don’t think her parents need to worry that she’ll be expected to stay at home. I’ll stay at home, hell all the time if I have to-slash-want to.”

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“I never really told my parents about relationships. I grew up in a small town in Dorset. Everyone that lives in that town that’s Bengali, I’m like related to; except for one family.

For them, it’s a lot about what other people will think, and I couldn’t care less about that. It took ages to get them to understand. Mom is more understanding, dad’s in that environment at his restaurant, hearing other people talking.”

“She has a big warm heart, welcoming. When she first came here, she kept looking at me and kept smiling. When she left she gave me a massive hug. Body language says a lot. We both were super nervous.

When I met his dad, he came in the room, he was very friendly, very open and welcoming. He actually said to me that Firuj’s mom is like my mom. Then he wanted to touch on the topic of religion. Firuj and his sister were so nervous that they started talking to each other loudly and joking.”

- Inez on Firuj’s parents.

“I’m happy to compromise as they  have, with them inviting me to the house not being married, and they come visit here.”

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“I’m the only daughter, my dad is ridiculously protective but only on the relationship front. With previous boyfriends, he’s always been that dad that made snide jokes and challenged the guy. I think he wants me to be with someone like him, someone with 4 degrees - education is the most important.

For my parents, the two parts that are difficult is there’s a language barrier, we switch back to dutch - so I’m also the bridge builder with them but I’ve stopped that now. The other thing, they’re worried about is his parents expectations, and that’s all due to the media. It’s the very extreme stereotypes.”

“I was always intimidated by Inez, she’s so much more driven, I’m more chilled out - like whatever. From the first time I met her, I knew she’d be  a boss and amazing in her career. I’m like whatever I’ve got a job. I was intimated by that.. but it was more like damn!”

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THE BETTER DRIVER:

Firuj

TIDIER:

Inez

THE BETTER COOK:

Firuj, but Inez wins the baking side of things

MORE ROMANTIC:

Inez

FUNNIER:

Firuj

COUPLE SONG:

Jessie Ware - Wildest Moments

SNORES LOUDER:

Firuj says Inez, but she refuses to believe it

MORE LIKELY TO HIDE SOMETHING FROM THE OTHER?

Firuj, but only small white lies

GETS ANGRY FIRST:

Firuj

PET PEEVES:

F: Inez talks to much and is a know it all

I: Firuj’s ability to wind himself up over the little things

FAVOURITE QUALITY: 

F: Inez is very caring

I: Firuj is incredibly curious and knowledgable

ONE WORD TO SUM UP LOVE:

Adventure

In our situation, we just cant make everyone happy. It’s just not going to happen. Our family live in different places, we’re from different backgrounds. We have to create our own paradise.
— Inez
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